Heights of Jackson

It is generally accepted that Michael Jackson was the most phenomenal phenomenon in the history of pop, but has anyone considered that he had a flying start – just by trading under the name of Jackson?

The name Jackson may well be the most phenomenal in the history of popular culture. Statistical analysis reveals that just possessing the name Jackson would, in any other industry, represent unfair competition.

If you are in any doubt, consider the bill I hope to put together for a Michael Jackson Memorial Season at Weymouth Pavilion in summer 2012, as part of the Cultural Olympiad which will accompany the London Games.

I am confident that the lure of appearing at Weymouth Pavilion* in the summer of 2012 will enable the successful assembly of the glittering line-up listed below.

Please note: Just for fun, one or two names have been made up - and there’s a free pair of season tickets for the first 500 people to spot which they are!

Please note also: Should any of the artistes ultimately be unable to fulfill the engagement – for instance, in case of death having unfortunately intervened – the promoter reserves the right to substitute a tribute artist from a similar or closely-related genre.

*Should Weymouth Pavilion have been demolished in the interim, the show will relocate to the Wurzeldome, Yetminster. If the Wurzeldome is not complete by 2012, all holders of pre-booked tickets will receive, absolutely free, an extra souvenir ticket celebrating what would have gone on if it had gone on. Any cash refunds will be in Zimbabwean dollars; exchange rate to be determined by the promoter.


Here is the provisional schedule…

June 1 to July 29 (60 nights, matinees Sat and Sun):

The Michael Jackson Experience. Plus special guests Jim Davidson and Jethro

July 30:

Joe Jackson

July 31

Glenda Jackson

Aug 1:

Latoyah Jackson

Aug 2:

Latoyah Wilcox

Aug 3:

Jackson Browne

Aug 4:

H Jackson Brown Jnr in Believe it or not, it’s H Jackson Brown Jnr! Popular philosophical musings.

Aug 5:

Millie Jackson

Aug 6:

Jack Jackson

Aug 7:

Jackie Jackson

Aug 8:

Jumping Jack Jackson

Aug 9:

Screaming Jack Jackson

Aug 10:

Jacknus Jacknusson

Aug 11:

Jackson Pollock

Aug 12:

Pollock with Celeriac Mash and Weymouth Bay Samphire

Aug 13:

Randy Jackson

Aug 14:

Marlon Jackson

Aug 15:

Tito Jackson

Aug 16:

Marshall Tito

Aug 17:

Janet Jackson

Aug 18:

Python Lee Jackson

Aug 19:

Jackson Heights

Aug 20

Keisha Jackson

Aug 21:

Spear and Jackson. Secateurs-juggling comedy duo. Cutting edge! Plus special appearance by Burning Spear Jackson, hot-coals garden barbecue novelty act

Aug 22:

Let’s get started! With Jackson Stops

Aug 23:

Germaine Jackson and Gordon Jackson in I’ve Left My Trousers In The Upstairs Downstairs House by Brian Jackson-Rix.

Aug 24:

Blind-Boy Peg-Leg Jackson. Roots.

Aug 25:

Rambling Roger Jackson. Routes.

Aug 26

Leon Jackson

Aug 27

Leon Redbone

Aug 28

Jackson Rathbone

Aug 29

The Stonewall Jackson Experience. Musical tribute to the life of General Stonewall Jackson, the American Civil War hero whose landmark stance on gay issues inspired a liberation movement. 32 nights (matinees Saturday).

Season ends September 30 with Midnight Parade of a Thousand Jacksons on Weymouth esplanade. Join in! (No vehicles; motorised wheelchairs only permitted. Spectators: no umbrellas please, as these many diminish the visual experience of others in the crowd.)


Thought for the season:

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have. H Jackson Brown Jnr


Season sponsored by the Jackson Hole Chamber of Commerce, Wyoming